The end of July is a turning point in support raising for me. July 20th I received my last paycheck from Summit Christian Academy. I don’t get a paycheck in August unless I raise support.
This just got real.
When I look at the bank account and realize that number is only going to go down, I’m confronted with the fact that I really, actually, truly need put my trust in God.
I have to trust He will provide for my physical needs by using His Spirit to move in the hearts of others to give generously. I have to trust that this internship is the best way to channel the gifts, talents and dreams He has given me into a career of filmmaking for the glory of God. I have to resist the urge to apply for another teaching job just because I know it will pay the bills and I won’t have to take another shot to the pride.
Set aside the churchspeak for a moment and consider how preposterous this sounds as a financial plan:
My financial plan for the fiscal year* August 2012 – July 2013 is to ask other people for money. Money that is not received in exchange for goods or services rendered. Living off of money that isn’t mine.
But when my mind starts chugging down this train of thought reality sets in:
We’re all living off of money that isn’t ours. We’re all breathing air that isn’t ours. Every good and perfect gift comes down to us from a God that loves us.
Don’t get me wrong, I already knew that, just like you already knew that.
I’m learning there is a difference between learning something and living something.
And really… I’m just preaching this to myself so that I’ll believe it more often than I don’t believe it.
*Not really sure what fiscal year means